Cycling Mad!

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Let’s get a few things straight shall we? I am a cyclist so most of you road users should salute me. I reduce the amount of traffic on the roads for your morning commute, I keep fit so I reduce the burden on your taxes going towards the NHS and when you walk from your car to the office, there is less pollution in the air for you to breathe.

So what if Boris suggests cyclists should be able to jump red lights? Why not? Many do already for their own safety. If a cyclist causes an accident then by all means nab him/her for a ‘not-paying-due-care-and-attention’ offence. Otherwise leave cyclists alone because the statistics show that in 2007 there were 2,946 deaths on UK roads and only 0.1% of those were caused by cyclists.

To gather some statistics of my own this morning, I carried out a small experiment. Whenever I cycled at about 25mph, I counted how many cars and motorbikes overtook me at speeds that must have been close to 40mph, some much faster! The percentage was alarming. Out of a rough count of 80 vehicles during the commute, at least 65 were travelling at these excessive speeds. I am sure there would have been far more if there were enough clear road to allow this widespread law breaking.

What is worse, a close friend witnessed a London cab driver twice intentionally ram a cyclist on Oxford Street this afternoon. Luckily he had the presence of mind to take all the cab’s details down before it could make its somewhat slow getaway along the bus laden shopping mecca. The police took his subsequent report very seriously so presumably someone else will be joining the swelling ranks of the unemployed. This time, I have no sympathy.

Despite these statistics only lip service is paid by many drivers to the country’s speed limits. This is one of the major causes of the nearly 3000 road deaths in 2007. Strange it is then that you are far more likely to find a newspaper columnist having a rant about cyclists than you are about the idiocy of a large number of law breaking motorists.

The problem is clear. For a driver sitting in a traffic jam witnessing a cyclist pootling past, their path ahead unimpeded, those age old jealousy hackles sprout. How about reserving the hackles for the cause of the jam instead of towards those who have earned the right to bypass it?

Britain's Got No Talent...Yet

So we now know that members in all the main parties have had their hands in the pot. Many will argue that their expense claims were within the rules, but unfortunately for those naive enough to claim for swimming pool maintenance, house keepers and paddock rolling, the public are their true judge. At a time when thousands of ordinary people are losing their jobs, we learn that these political masters are becoming extremely rich at our expense.

What is the solution? Well, it might be right under our noses. All the expense claims should be examined by an independent commission. The claims that fail to reach an acceptable level of moral scrutiny are referred to a panel that make a judgement as to whether that particular individual should keep or lose the whip. No doubt this will result in scores of cross party sackings but that is the price to pay for such monumental hypocrisy.

The next step will be for a nationwide reality talent TV show to choose suitable replacements. It does not take the imagination of a genius to know that the program would have the largest audience in history. Watching Alan Sugar and some one from the Dragon’s Den panel, grilling individuals who will then face a public vote, should ensure we are left with a political class, more able and more trustworthy than the current frauds we employ.

With a package worth over £65000 per annum and an economy that is throwing talented individuals out of work all over the country, it is inconceivable that there would not be at least 20 applicants for each vacancy. It is too late for apologies. The raft of stealth taxes introduced by successive governments that make our lives a misery have no effect on those who introduced them because they have been using those very contributions to avoid financial difficulty.

Bath Plugs and Mango Sorbets.

This morning the Times leading article seeks to legitimise MP's abuse of the Parliamentary expense system by blaming critics for being 'pious' and 'hypocritical'. It tries to achieve this using a very clumsy comparison. An MP claiming for a bath plug is no worse than you or I charging a mango sorbet to an employer. I suggest the Saturday Editorial has been left to be written by a very junior journalist whose only brief was to try and dampen the flames of public outrage engulfing this scandal at what ever expense. Whilst the cost benefits of using a GCSE student on a work placement to write its editorials are very significant, the resulting fudge of an attempt to sway public opinion is lamentable.

If only it were just a bathplug! As I type this, there are senior ministers who are claiming up to £24,000 a year for a second home that is minutes away from their main stated residence, on the grounds that they require the home to be able to commute to Westminister.


The second line of attack for our budding little hack is to suggest that the whole political process itself is at risk; this is disingenuous. Far from the country risking losing all these vital public servents and therefore facing anarchy, the writer should have turned to his own front page and read the story about increased recruitment in the military as a by-product of the recession. I am sure there would be thousands of highly motivated, intelligent and honest members of the public who would be queueing up in their droves to replace the current batch who seem unable to live on their paltry £64,766!

We are not worthy!

Yesterday as I navigated my way to London Waterloo’s platform 6 for the 15:45 Woking express, I had just enough time to snatch a free bag of Fridge Raiders from an attractive but curiously leather-clad marketing lady attempting to off-load her stocks onto London's hungry commuters. My unexpected gift turned out to be a tandoori flavoured chicken based snack that was the perfect companion for a short ride out to the Surrey suburbs.

It is one thing enjoying a free gift at the expense of a business hoping to woo my taste buds into becoming a regular customer, but can we continue to be so tolerant with government ministers who treat taxpayer's money as a sink fund for their domestic expenses?

My flat currently has a plumbing emergency so I am going through the painful task of hunting for a reliable individual who will not replace the whole boiler when only a washer is required. Even if I do find an honest tradesman, I will still have to pay VAT on top of his charges. It is a devastating attack on my sensibilities to know that these and other tax contributions enter a bottomless pit that regurgitates the money as second home allowances for politicians who would otherwise have to commute 39 miles following a tough day of submitting expense receipts at Westminster.

If a few back bench members were twisting the rules a little to help them pay for the ever increasing council taxes that have contributed to the 106,544 personal insolvencies in Britain this year, so be it! But when we find out this scam is being perpetrated by those in the highest echelons of power, how can we take seriously the delusional U Tube mutterings of a leader who preaches to us about immoral bankers?

The Prime Minister certainly leads by example though. Not content with his grace-and-favour apartment inside Number 10, he has claimed more than £17000 pounds in second home expenses. We are then told that his brother has been paid £6000 for cleaning services. Yes, Gordon is a scruffy looking man who seems to make a mess where ever he treads, but are we convinced Andrew, the director of corporate communications at French energy giant EDF, is so lacking in remuneration that he needs to top up his salary in such a way? Presumably if Brown the Younger cleans up his older sibling's clutter then he also does his own.

There is a common theme emerging in clan Brown. Lots of jobs and lots of houses. Do you think the brothers will be willing to share when the rest of us lose ours?